Getting ready for another Zoom meeting, my heart is a bit racy. My brain is a bit foggy. There is bound to be the continued tension of cognitive dissonance – task at hand, little mention of the current pandemic. It is not that we don’t address it on our calls. We ask how everyone is. We joke about what day is it. We are more gentle or short with one another than we might otherwise be depending on our capacity that day. But still, we are often making decisions, discussing projects, without fully acknowledging the weight of the crisis because it is beyond our ability to name and to measure. We are feeling the urgency of continuing to work, while finding our productivity muted.
I worry before the next call about whether what I have done is enough. I feel overwhelmed, tired, agitated.
Before I hop on the call, I take a few deep breaths and I acknowledge those feelings.
I see you worry. I see you fear. I see you sadness.
I see you.
I name you worry. I name you fear. I name you sadness.
I name you.
There is space for you worry. There is space for you fear. There is space for you sadness.
There is space.
Another deep breath in and slow exhale. I smile. I thank those negative emotions for reminding me to pay attention and to focus. I jump on the call hopefully able to share some grace with my clients, better able to navigate the cognitive dissonance.